The Neighbors (2015) Episode 1

Episode 1 – Meet the Neighbors

Charlie (Tommy Wiseau) is a landlord in an apartment complex. He seems like a cross between Wiseau, his character Johnny from The Room and Jim Halpert from The Office (NBC). I think that Charlie and his assistant Bebe may be based on Jim and Pam, based on their visual similarities, and the fact that they are in an office together.

The full rundown of events

Obvious douchebag Tim enters and asks Charlie for $20. Gives it to Bebe, since he owes her that amount. Why did he ask for it if he didn’t need it?

Troy enters, and overreacts about rent, and happens to be carrying $900 in cash. Probably the most irritable pothead ever.

Guy can’t get job. Contemplates killing himself. Someone knocks at his door. He answers without hiding the noose on his bed. It’s Philadelphia, a girl who lives nearby, and is looking for salt and pepper, in a bikini, because she’s making chicken–while in a bikini. This seems to cheer up the jobless guy (He hasn’t been identified by name yet).

Its important to note that some of the jobless guy’s lines look out of sync, probably because they were re-recorded in post production.

Cut to the office. A Chinese guy enters pissed about his internet, he was probably trying to watch this show on Hulu or something. He rants about a black guy, who coincidentally shows up right away and they start fighting. For some reason when they fight, it looks like they’re trying to grope each other. Whatever, it’s Tommy Wiseau, just go with it. Charlie fixes the internet via walkie talkie, and their problems are resolved.

Wiseau, a European-American who became massively wealthy (somehow), takes great pride in his citizenship, which is evident in the American flag on his character Charlie’s computer. Both Charlie and Johnny are the “good guy” as well as the everyman. They occupy what he sees as the American dream, as well as being the go-to guy in their social circle. Johnny was a father figure, and good friend, while Charlie is a friend and helps his tenants with everyday issues. Wiseau’s characters, in their naiveté and charisma, are not unlike that of Michael Scott (The Office)

Cut to a man and a woman next to a washer and dryer. The man, Ed needs to fix a leak in the washer or something. It sounds like all the the set up needed for a cheesy porno movie. I spoke too soon. The woman responds, “I have a leak that needs fixing”. Yeah, that just happened. You can guess where things go from there. Also, Ed is wearing Tommy Wiseau brand underwear (self-product placement). Suddenly, they are interrupted by Tim the douchebag carrying a chicken. He tells them that it fell from a 2 story window, and then he leaves the room mentioning it belongs to someone named Cici.

[Break]

This scene opens with Ricky, another character played by Wiseau, this time with blonde hair and a red and white sports jacket, who has come back from grocery shopping with with his girlfriend. Wiseau will never have realistic looking hair, so at this point it’s best to just deal with it. A couple of other tenants walk by, and the girl squirts whipped cream on his face.

“Oh hi, Don.”

Don enters the office, telling Charlie that he has dreams about a guy named Patrick, more than his wife Monica, and is questioning his sexuality. Charlie and Bebe encourage him and tell him that there is nothing wrong with him if he is in fact gay. “Love is love” they say.

Immediately after this, a suspicious Monica enters and questions Don.

“What did you do with Patrick? I am your wife, I am pregnant!”

It’s appropriate to laugh at this point. Monica is pissed at Don for being unfaithful, and Bebe responds “Calm down, what is it a roller coaster ride in here?” Monica slaps Don and announces a divorce. Charlie and Bebe tell Don that everything will work itself out.

Tim enters and plays the money borrowing game again, and ends up going to get ice cream. He still hasn’t paid either of them back.

A very angry woman named Cici enters Troy’s apartment and freaks out about her chicken. Before this, Troy was smoking with a bong and playing video games with his door wide open. They have a yelling match and he tells her to leave. “I will kill your fucking chicken.”

Philadelphia is at home in her bikini, on her purple couch. It seems like the character’s furniture suits their lifestyles, since Troy’s couch is green. Cici knocks on her door looking for the chicken and another yelling match ensues. Maybe Philadelphia shouldn’t have opened her door.

[Break]

Cut to a girl’s apartment. A guy knocks, delivering pizza. Yikes, yet another plot setup for a porno. One of the girls is partially undressed, and proceeds to pay the delivery guy with money that she pulls out of her bra. I am not making any of this up. It is safe to expect more of this content in future episodes. Very cheesy.

“If you’ve got a safe deposit box in yourself, you’ve gotta let me use it” What?

Each transition in between scenes uses the same shot of the apartment building, similar to how The Room used stock footage in between its scenes. Unlike The Room, there is somehow less variety in the visuals, and the music is worse. Oddly enough, that one song used in The Room was quite good. The music in this show is more like really cheap dance-pop.

After delivering pizza, the pizza guy decides to rent an apartment, presumably as a way to meet cute girls, and doesn’t bother to clock out at his place of work. He also takes off his shirt on the way to meet Charlie, the landlord. When he gets to the office, it is back on.

The pizza guy introduces himself as Joe Spielberg. Charlie has to leave, and Joe fills out his application. Ed enters an lets Bebe know that the phone lines will be down for a few hours. Ed goes with Joe to look at his room.

Instead of doing a background check on Joe, Bebe decides to simply sign the paperwork, because she is strapped for time and trusts Joe. Probably not the best decision.

Cut to Cici yelling. Surprise. As a side note, why is everything yellow? She tells Charlie that she’s fine and continues screaming.

Ed and Joe return from the room, and he finalizes his contract, paying $200 in cash. The amount of cash thrown around in this show is ridiculous, although it is somewhat believable that the characters would be carrying cash, a pizza delivery guy and a weed dealer, respectively.

Ricky and his girlfriend Lua show up at Troy’s apartment to make a drug-related payment, and Lua asks to buy a shotgun. Ricky exclaims, “Why do you want a gun? I’ve got one right here [grabs crotch] Morning, afternoon, evening… Free of charge!” Hilarious. They end up getting the shotgun, I assume, with all the proper paperwork filled out off screen.

Lua uses magic (literally, magic) to whittle the price down to $0, although the magic is unexplained. After they leave, Troy checks his pockets and flips out. “What did I do? I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot! Aaaaaaaaaaah! … I’m OK.” He calms right down, and probably smokes off screen.

Cut to Tim in his apartment with Cici’s chicken. Cici enters accuses Tim of wanting to have sex with it (He is accused of having sex with animals earlier in the episode). Why does Tim only have football posters when he plays basketball?

End of episode. Extremely weird, but a worthy companion to the film / phenomenon known simply as The Room. The Neighbors was produced from 2007-2015, and is available to watch on Hulu. There are 4 episodes so far.

Character List (In case you lost track)
Charlie – Manager / Landlord (Tommy Wiseau)
Bebe – Works with Charlie in the office (Gretel Roenfeldt)
Tim – Plays basketball, owes Bebe and Charlie money (Raul Phoenix)
Troy – Drug dealer (Andrew Buckley)
Cici – Mad at Tim for taking her chicken, yells a lot. (Pamelia Bailey)
Chicken – Missing
Monica – Pregnant, and frustrated with her husband Don
Don – Husband of Monica, confused if he loves her or Patrick
Patrick – ?
Ricky Rick – Like drugs and groceries i guess, too early to tell (Tommy Wiseau)
Lua – Likes Ricky, and probably has some history with Troy. Knows real magic.
Unnamed Woman – Likes having sex with Ed.
Ed – Handyman
Philadelphia – Always in a bikini, likes chicken. (Karly Kim)
Unnamed Man – Has no job, likes Philadelphia
Joe Speilberg, no relation – Pizza delivery boy, new Tenant
Princess Penelope – ?

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